Knowing What We Want

Do we really know what we want. I have realised for myself that the

answer is deeply rooted in the ability to picture it in my own mind, not

getting stuck on it and moving forward. I used to think that the things

that we achieve is because of situation, luck or circumstance. I used to

believe that we are somehow the sum of our past experiences.

Time has shown me that this is simply not the only way to approach

the question of getting what we want. You really need to do the hard

mental work of thinking it through and working through how you want to

get there – any anything comes within your reach.

Getting what we want is also an internal process. So many times we

think it is an external process. I want my boss to give me more money.

In real terms – we all know that a boss will never give you more money –

they will simply respond to your ambition, desires and good decision

making and give you raises or promotions because of value. These are

internal choices that you and not your boss makes. If you really want

more money, internally you have to bridge the gaps of deciding how to

get it – and advertising a product that you are selling does not hurt

either… So wanting my boss to give me more money – gets in the way of

having more money! So stop wanting – and go out there and get rich if

that is your desire.

To get what we want – however I have found for myself that you have

to let go of a lot of things – pride, perception of entitlement,

history, hidden perceptions of what you want, thinking patterns and

generally any attitudes that are not useful in getting to where you want

to be. It is so easy to get stuck. You have a tendency to get exactly

what you desire – the question is to what extent you control your

desires. When you get rid of enough of this background noise – then you

can start moving to focusing on what you really, really want and then

the best plan I find is to stop wanting it – and go get it.

Getting what you want and wanting what you got is also two sides of

the coin of happiness. This can only be bridged by the mind being

certain of its desires.

Three useful skills that I have learnt includes stopping, letting go

and starting. I quit smoking last year – the useful thing about that is

that it taught me how to stop doing anything that I did not want to do.

It also forced me to relook how I deal with my emotions – and luckily I

learnt some good things in this process. The second useful skill has

been to let go of emotions. Your emotions will guide you – but stand in

the way of you being able to guide them. Letting go of these emotions

clears up the noise in the background. It is interesting – once you stop

feeling nostalgic, angry, alone, wanting and many of the other emotions

daily – a whole new spiritual world opens in which you can start moving

yourself forward. The last skill is starting. If you just do something

without thinking about it for too long – it becomes easier and you get

better at starting. It is much better to reflect on what you have

achieved than it is about what you want to do.

For myself I reflect on with gratitude on 2011 as a time in which I

got what I wanted and needed to move forward – but look out 2012 – it

may be the end of the world – but I am going to put a dent in the

universe – if it allows me.